I never usually set “resolutions” for the new year. I tend to not think “resolutions” work–you can’t overhaul your life and redo all of your patterns because you’re writing a new number on the end of the date.
On her blog, my friend Lindsey has an awesome (see what I did there?) post about setting goals, which I definitely followed this year. (I’ll learn all the capitals of the world someday…) What I usually do, however, is set intentions.
Sometimes my intentions are catchy. “Do no harm, take no shit” is a favorite. Sometimes, they’re just one word. I remember a few years ago my word was “strive.” I think I thought it sounded much cooler than it actually does, but it was a reminder to not get lazy or complacent, to really go after the things I want.
In 2015, my intentions are far from poetic, but their sentiments are more profound than their verbiage. Take care of yourself. I am definitely one of those people who tries to skip around putting bandaids on everybody else’s scratches while I have a limb falling clear off. Not always the most productive. Stop apologizing for things you did that weren’t wrong, including exist. My Gender and Communication class last semester pointed out that women are more likely to apologize at the beginning of a sentence for interrupting, for possibly saying something wrong, or just for taking up space. That’s a gendered tendency that definitely bothers me… and I think I take it to the extremes. Be consistent. Throwing yourself into a different diet or different training plan or different goals every couple of weeks sets you up for nothing but failure. Vitamins don’t work so well when you take them like, once every three weeks. (Cough, self.) Set a goal and stick to it. Adjust the plan later if necessary, but in fitness and in life, consistency is key.
Most importantly is an intention that rolled over from last year. (I have pretty loose rules on the lifespan of intentions. They’re more fun than resolutions.) This one was one I needed to make for a very long time. Stop doing things just because you think you “should.” Really, we should just outlaw the word “should.” I’m an English major and I love writing and I wanted to be involved on campus, so I SHOULD stay on the e-board for the campus literary magazine. Right? No. I sat through those meetings counting down minutes. I’ll still write for them, but respectfully bowing out of something that you aren’t giving your best to because you’re not doing it because you love it isn’t “quitting;” it’s a good call.
So I haven’t posted anything on this blog in ages and I was trying to figure out why it was so hard for me to keep a blog. I’ve always self-identified as a writer. I wrote 150 pages of a book once that I fully intend to go back to at some point. I write all of my thoughts out, or they end up completely unfinished. It’s a natural format. And lord knows, as anyone who talks to me ever will say… I have PLENTY to say about fitness. So why haven’t I posted in months?
Because I was running this blog the way I thought I should. These are the things people will like to see, this is what’s marketable, this is what every other fitness blog does, so this is what you should do. Even though “fitness blog” didn’t feel right. Even though my posts felt more like obligations, felt inauthentic. If I don’t like what I’m doing, and if I don’t feel like I’m connected to what I’m saying, why would anybody else? I almost didn’t even write this post, for fear of how it will be received, but isn’t that just the point? If you have something to say, say it. That’s what words are for.
Expect some changes coming up. Expect a change in tone. Expect a little bit more philosophy and a little bit less of me giving you a workout of the day and prescribing a certain number of burpees. Expect a possible change of URL. The ado that I stir up isn’t just about running anymore, for one–it’s big time about lifting, Crossfit, and OCR, but also about anything that makes you into a better human being. It’s about taking time for yourself. It’s about coming back from injuries.
Fitness has never been about muscle mass or medals for me, even though I’m trying to gain my collection of both. Fitness is about standing back up after getting knocked down, whether it’s by illness or injury; it’s about looking pain in the face and laughing. That’s all you’ve got?
Labor doesn’t feel so much like labor when it’s a labor of love. Look at me, sticking to my resolutions.